| helovesmeandtheyhateit, posted
over a year ago
"Oh, What A Tangled Web I Wieve!" I have two children 8 and 2 (exhusband) and I am engaged to a father of four other children (two exwives). He is great with my children but I know he is empty from not being able to see his other children at this moment... you see... he is in the military and we are both stationed overseas here in italy. We have plans to marry and return to the states by December... only I am AFRAID... very lost in how I feel about the whole exwives (the most recent one in particular) and the children. He tries his best to be a wonderful father to mine but being a stepchild myself, I know the pain of a very noticable difference between your own blood and step-children. I am afraid of the ache and jealousy of have to share your father's attention with others... those who technically have more right to it than you do... and as for the wives... they will always maintain that place and respect in his heart as they are "the mother of my children" as he calls them. It aches me. At one point I yearned to give him a child because of this!... but I have now realized that I do not want to bring a child into this world who will be second-best in his heart... for he has already appointed his "favorite" position to his daughter from his second marriage, metaphorically comparing her to the "rib from his side that God took from him". That little girl of 4 "is" the apple of his eye... And as for a Junior, the youngest of all his children, not only holds that title, but he surprised the ENTIRE family with his beautiful blue eyes and blond hair that seems to have come out of no-where. To his father, he is everything he ever wanted from a boy and constantly brags about how big and strong that 2 year old child is and how he is destined for sports and fame with the ladies. How could any child of mine compete with that? ... whether it be boy or girl? Please do not get me wrong, for it is not the children that bother me it is that I have finally found what has seemed to be the man of my dreams... so why am I so hurt?... I am very ashamed for feeling so sad....
Posted on 9 August 2007 @ 16:55 (London time) - permalink
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