the girl in his fantasies or me!?

nitanita, posted over a year ago

I have a boyfriend who i do care a lot for, I try to please him with all matters,and we have been living happily together for 6 months now!

unfortunately not long a go i found his porn collection on his laptop. I was just shocked as i really Did Not Expect Him to do such a thing,a huge collection with fitness models. He is always a type of person who critiseses such things and i can say is somhow religious!he says that he feels guilt and is upset with this obsession but can't help it! have counceled a psycolog too!

I had also started weight traing as i knew he was attracted to it !

Now im really confused, he says that he loves me and they are all just his fantasies, though confessed that he also masturbates after looking at them about once a week, what should i do!? i cant accept this as i do feel disturbed and insulted , although i know that all guys watch porn but i wish he was not obsessed with it this way! 3GB fitness models pictures that he does not like to delete even for me!"and he says he really loves me!

please give me some advice, im fed upp with reading others similar problems and just getting more stressed!

advice seeker!Aida

Posted on 23 July 2007 @ 21:17 (London time) - permalink
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mamas627, posted over a year ago

hey there girl....i can understand ur frustration and confusion. i think as females it hurts us all to think that the men we love may be fantasizing of other women.

i've been w/my bf of 2 yrs....and i know he has pics of him and his ex's on his comp....probably even sexual pics of him and his ex's. and i know he has his favorite porn stars and watches clips of them on occasion. sometimes we'll watch them together. i'll never see the pics of him and his ex's tho. i know i don't want to see them. and OF COURSE it bothers me.

but when u think about it....even if u made him erase it all....it doesn't change the fact that these people...these images r a part of his history or his memory. he's free to access that at any moment he so pleases.

the thing u have to do is realize this as something that's not going to change in him. but that it also doesn't change the fact that he loves you very much. u guys live together....ur happy on all other accts. it doesn't affect your sex life...but more than likely his private fantasies help him foster fantasies of him and you together as well.

as long as he's not cheating on you physically...there's absolutely nothing wrong w/fantasizing....cuz that's exactly what they r....they're fantasies....they're NOT REAL by their very definition. i wouldn't stress anymore on it. the more u stress it the bigger the problem becomes for both of you...

Posted on 24 July 2007 @ 23:59 (London time) - permalink
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