| , posted
over a year ago
You should post on the main site, but to answer to your issue, you have to step back and look at yourself from far away - look at your past, how your grew up, who were your friends, who are your parents, what type of environment you grew up in, etc, etc. Then draw from those experiences, on how you became what you are today.
Now, you can't change the past of course, but to change your now, you have to seek out the things in your past that still haunts you to this day - even subtle things, or things at the back of your mind.
No one can absolutely help you, even with advice, because ultimately, you being needy and controlling is a part of your personality traits. To change or improve your traits, not only do you find the sources of your issues, but you also have to be more willing to do the things that your emotions don't want you to do.
Eg: my gf's friends invited her to go to Mexico with them. I'm jealous because I can't go and have fun with her. However, as much as my heart do not want to let her go, I will let her go. So I stay at home jealous, but I control my jealousy with my will power. In turn, she calls me every night and tell my stories for an hour or two, then say good night, and the next day comes and goes.
Eventually, trust builds, and things go as smoothly as they can be over time, and so on and so forth. That's just how it is. It takes time and effort. Trust isn't automatic. Nor is change automatic.
On another note, you should also reorganize your own life. It's one thing to share the rest of your life with someone you love and adore, but it's also another thing to have a fulfilling lifestyle. A part of that fulfilling lifestyle means you have your own set of interests that you do either by yourself, with your friends, or at some club or school. It doesn't involve your bf/hubby - not directly anyway, but they are things you do for yourself momentarily.
Posted on 11 December 2006 @ 22:47 (London time) - permalink
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