| MistrrV, posted
over a year ago
Dear Reader,
I've been married for 9 years I have a 3 yr old son. Here's my story...
We met young (18) married fast and in the beginning I had lost of issue such as name calling it was never physical but still not good. She brought these issues to my attn. and I corrected them. She wanted to live close to her family so we moved near them. She wanted a house so I got one for us. She didn't like my family or friends so I gave them up. She was my world my everything. I advanced rapidly in my career to get these thing I took a job traveling 70% she seemed to enjoy the alone. I begged her to come with me on trips and she never did. We never made any friends were we live and outside of movies and dinner our live were very suclusive.
She is a very timid person and I'm very out spoken and friendly. So we had no friends when I made friends at work or outside she would not like them or offend them. On top of that she became very frugal with money and I'm very not frugle so I spent money behind her back. She threatenedd to leave me If I ever did it again.
We moved forward with adoption and I convinced her to go to school for nursing. She became very emotionless towards me and I became very ignoring of her and her OCD. I became involved in online gaming as a social outlet. She hated it she and I played it to much. Problems got worse she ce he one day and told me she want to have a guy friend. I did not say no immediately. Turns out though that this guys invited her to his job (he was a bar tender) to see him. I explained this was wrong and became furious and kicked her out. She came back the next day she claims she made it all up but the 2days of hangs say otherwise.
She went to a wedding and she was flirtious with men while I was there and I was upset. The next day she said she was leaving. I begged her to stay and beg even though she told me she had feelings for someone at work. I still promised to change and it could work that she was the only one for me and we were meant to be together.
The adoption went through I changed everything becoming everything she said she wanted. I was wrong in every arguement and never stepped up.
I'm very romantic and passionate I tried effortlessly to win her get some emotion out of her and it never happened. Finally in January she I found out she was keeping our savings for her personal retirement. She said she would have left me yes ago if she thought I wouldnt take my son from her. So I told her fine you can take our son from me I just want you to be happy. She didn't do anything at wits end I went and seen a. Counselor she advised me to take care of myself start stepping up and my life back on track. At first she wouldn't go but them I dropped 70lbs and she started finally getting depression meds. Still I spent endless night beging her for emotion crying on the floor telling her I'm so alone and how much I love her. Finally I said enough is enough I'm done I have no where else to go. I came to a point where I had to accept that she would find someone and I was happy for her.
Now it's 360 she's begging me to stay and I feel so lost I love her but I don't feel like it's there anymore I feel like I'm spent I can't think anymore I feel lost. On top of that I've started taking Intrest in women even though I feel akward i've started going to the bar to just get space and try to think. Woman are atracted to me and I like it. What do I do the counselor says should keep trying at the marriage. Just lost.... I feel like something is gone and we'd have to start over again and if I have to start over I'd rather try another route I feel beaten down and I don't believe this 360 she's done she can't keep it up forever. Any advice?
Posted on 4 July 2009 @ 8:4 (London time) - permalink
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