| , posted
over a year ago
So, I am probably in one of the most messed up situations that you can be in, but I am going to try and explain it the best way that i can. This past summer I began hanging out with this guy that I worked with, I went over to his house, drank, partied. It was fun. We made out alot. The funny thing was. My best friend and I ended up making out with him. It was fine though because neither one of us had feelings for him. However as the summer ended. The guy ended up finding a girl friend and I thought that this was going to be the end of it, but i was complelty wrong. He and I ended up hanging out almost every night. Just driving around, smoking. Having a good time, but things changed and we started making out. I know that this is completely wrong, but Ive never had a boyfriend, he was my first kiss, my first everything and I just couldn't stop myself. Things went on like this for a while and it seemed everything was okay, well not okay, but it just seemed we were using eachother. However as time went on I started developing feelings for him. I didnt understand what was going on and i didnt understand alot of the things that he did. He calls or texts me everyday. He apologizes everytime his girlfriend calls and I just didn't understand where our relationship was going. We talk about everything and i feel like he is a really good friend, but it seems like we are only friends when he wants something. He has so many problems and I cant help him, so he just drinks them away. I told him that I liked him and he said he was flattered and didn't understand why i did and to tell you the truth i don't know why I do either. This past week we have been getting into petty arguments and most of which are my fault and i just didn't understand why i was so mad at him. One night this week we hung out for like 4 hours and then his girlfriend calls him and he lies and says he is alone. I ended up sitting outside while they talked for 45 minutes. she called to tell him that she wasn't sure where their relationship was going and that she couldn't deal with the long distance thing. Anyways long story short he told her that he was going to drive and see her that night. I was like okay this is rediculous..we ended up talking about what she said and how he hates that nothing can go right for him and that he just wishes that just once if he put forth the effort the other person would want to as well. He drops me off and told me that he would call me if he didnt go. I said okay fine. Half hour later he calls me and tells me that he can't get his money and if he could borrow money so he could go. I was like okay fine. He apologized repeatedly. I told him not to, because this is his girlfriend and he shouldn't have to apologize for going to see her. He ended up calling me on his way there and i told him why i was so upset and that i didn't know what to do with the feeling i had for him. It was a quiet for a long time and he said that this is probably going to make things way more complicated, but i have feelings for you too. This surprised me and pist me off cuz he was on his way to see his girlfriend. I'm like what the heck is going on. I hung up and i came to find out that him and his girlfriend are just fine and him and i are stuck in this rut and it is driving me crazy. My best friend hates him and he ended up talking to her about us and he told her that i was reading way to much into everything and that he doesnt like me. Right after that he told me that he likes me and i like him and there is nothing that we can do about it. I guess at this point i dont know what to believe. I know that this situation is wrong, and i dont want to get lectured on how it is, because i know. I just need to know what i should say to him. I lost my best friend over this and it sucks, but it is my fault. I just need to know how to fix it.
Posted on 18 November 2008 @ 6:31 (London time) - permalink
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Honeypie, posted
over a year ago