| roxie, posted
over a year ago
Dear Brad.
The floor fell out from under my feet when after two years of what I thought was a good relationship my boyfriend told me that he was seeing my close girlfriend ( I believe he put it as a “midlife” crisis). It suddenly made sense why she had been asking me so many questions about Bob and our relationship. Bob is forty-eight and she is thirty-six, which in his own words an ego-trip for him. I am Bob’s age and have no trouble being dateable if that would be what I want but ….. Cindy, who I have tried to mentor in the past, has had a drug issue and numerous affairs with men and as a result has a sexually transmitted disease (which makes it impossible in Bob’s eyes for there to be anything physical between them – and knowing Bob’s character, I believe him). She is getting help and told my boyfriend that she just wanted a “friend/maybe someday lover relationship”.
After not seeing each other for a period of time, Bob told me he loved me and couldn’t forget me but wanted to be emotionally supportive of her. So, I accepted their friendship for awhile even though needless to say, she and I have lost our friendship.But after time I came to be aware that I love him way too much and hurt over the fact that he continues to tell me that he wants us to be old together but still has the “attraction that he doesn’t understand for her”. She thinks that we are not seeing each other and because of the “friendship circle” of all of our friends that don’t support my continuing to let Bob hurt me, Bob and I agreed to keep our relationship a secret from the world until we knew exactly what we wanted (why hear the “I told you so”s?) Bob continues to lie to me and to her (because as he says -he doesn’t want to hurt either one of us and feels caught in between a cat fight). I know that the whole situation is very unhealthy and I ask myself why I still love him, but inexplicably I have fallen hard.
I finally told him that I couldn’t hurt any longer and that by making his choices he has made mine. He asked me for a week’s grace period for him to have time to tell her that he is still in love with me. I told him that after that time, if he didn’t tell her I would. The reason? I feel resentment toward them both…Her because of the deception and the fact that she tells Bob all the reasons why I’m bad for him. Him because I know in my heart he loves me but not enough. I know Bob won’t “ step-up”, the relationship is over. I need closure. She has told Bob that if he sees me it will be over with her. I hurt so much…. why should I let him be able to still look good in her eyes. I know it’s immature of me to want to strike back To have her hurt like I was when she went behind my back and asked him out in the first place?
Should I let it go and walk away?
Posted on 22 January 2007 @ 19:5 (London time) - permalink
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vina_101, posted
over a year ago