heartbroken in limbo!!

two weeks ago my wife to be and the mother of my two children went over to ireland and met up with her first love who she has harboured feeling for over the past 8 years. whilst over there she spoke to a friend and told her this who then told this bloke and her said that he feels the same. so now she comes home and tells me that she is going back over to ireland in october and she not taking the kids so through not knowing any of this at the time i agreed two days later she drops the bombshell that she nolonger feels the same way about me. and wants to split up. without working at it. the following day she actuall drops the real bombshell, the fact that she has feelings for another bloke and she now wants time and space to find her true feelings. so i'm now moved into the spare room and live there like a lodger. not knowing where i stand. she won't give me a chance to make things up to her because she doesn't know her true feelings. she says that she could go over and find out that it's all a big mistake and then i'm back in the game. but what i can't understand from all this is yeah fine don't geive me a chance to mae it up to her but please don't use some excuse about trying to find your true fellings whilst txting the bloke and arranging to do things with him when you go over there. on top of all this i suggested to her today that when she goes over she take the kids so that way she can be true to her feelings but she goes mad at me. god i'm so in love with this girl and i don't know what i can do to ease the pain i'm feeling because she won't give me a yes or no answer over all of this so here i am here stuc in limbo!!

Posted on 31 August 2006 @ 20:37 (London time) - permalink
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Sounds like this girl (woman) wants her cake and to eat it. You want a monogamous relationship and appear to offer just that. She isn't making a decision, it is obvious you must make it. She is not committing to a relationship with you at present. My advice would be to get her to a forum to discuss this chasm in your relationship, to give you both a chance. If, with counselling, she cannot devote herself without reservation to your marriage, you must be strong and look at the best option for yourself. She obviously does not have your best interests at heart, so you have to take of yourself. At present you appear to be handing over the responsibility for your relationship and your life to your wife, hence you feel disempowered. It is your life, I would advise you to take steps to get back into the driving seat of your own destiny and kick ass out of limbo.

Posted on 25 September 2006 @ 11:1 (London time) - permalink
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