| , posted
over a year ago
I have been dating a woman for almost a year.It was such a fantastic beggining. From the very first time we met there was a feeling of connection. We had a wonderfull time and I thought we really had something special. We shared many exiting moments with each other and doing family things. We helped each other and encouraged growth. She decided to move a couple hours away from me to continue and finish her university. It was not too far to visit frequently. Due to lack of dating and her confusion we broke up in december.For months prior she was not sure what she wanted. I new what we had and did everything I could to keep us together. She kept her facebook as single for the last few months. I was very busy renovating my home and work during december and she could not understand. All she was worried about was her own needs and could not see I was trying to make something more for myself, something she was more then wanted to be part of. She was busy out playing around. On jan 1 we spoke and got back together. She told me that she realized what she had and I was very special to her. She told me that she had been out on a few dates.She did failed to tell me about her adventures(sleeping with another person) Spending new years with another man the night before our reconcilation. I aswell was on dating services looking for girls too. I didnt know what to do. I didnt even know what I wanted. I wanted to feel something again after the hurt I felt from someone so dear to me abandoning the relationship.
Now after 2 weeks of dating again. I find out that she did sleep with someone while we were split up. I am even more upset now than the origional time. I was busy and deep down in my heart thought she would realize what we had and want to make up. I understand that we were not together when this happened. I do know that it is not cheating. I cannot get over the fact that I have tried to make things perfect in this relationship. I would have never wronged her.I would have jumped in front of a bus to save her. If I did anything I would know in my heart that it was over. I did not want any Ill will in my heart to hold back what I thought was somewhat of a fairy tale romance.
Now I am so hurt that I do not want to continue. She maintains she loves me and it happened when we were broken up. I cannot help but to do the same no. Sleep with another person. I know it will not make me feel better but I am only human. I want to know if I will feel the same about her after being with another woman.
I believe that I cannot get over this. Im not sure if the way im feeling is right. I am so hurt , betrayed and lost right now its not even funny. How can something that I tried to do so right from the beggining be so spoiled and tainted now. Again almost all the desicions were hers. I did my best in all areas of my life. I do have work , home and children to deal with. She was very important to me. I always maintained that I cared , loved and cherished what we had. It was her indecision that led to this. I think she wanted to break up to go play around. I think she knew what she was doing. Could she really have cared about me knowing what she did. Is this healty to break up with someone to go sleep and date with other people. Should I let her back into my life.
Please help me.
Troy
Posted on 17 January 2010 @ 22:45 (London time) - permalink
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