| , posted
over a year ago
Yeah I know I am smart and intelligent and mature enough for my age to know the answer to this but my heart is contradicting it.
I have been 3 months apart from my ex, obviously, I still love him as this gives me the reason to write here. I have been told to cut contact with him and I am trying all my best to follow this advise. At some point before, I lose my control and send him a text or two. He replies. Sometimes, he's the one initiating the contact.
But it's a never ending battle between my mind and my heart. I don't contact him because everyone says it's the best thing to do to move on from your ex. But why does it make me feel worse than better? The longer I don't reply to him and the less I hear about him, I feel like I am going crazy.
For this thing, I confirm I really love him as I find it so hard to let go where as my past two relationships, I had no trouble letting go.
If I reply to his message, I am relieved inside. If I talk to him on the phone, I am happy again. I know we are over but to know he's still alive outside makes me feel okay. But when I refuse to reply and control myself from contacting him, I feel like I want to just lay down and die.
Could this idea of letting go be wrong? Why doesn't it do me any good? I think I need some scolding here.
Posted on 31 July 2009 @ 15:22 (London time) - permalink
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