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Dear Cupid > Forums > Breakups > dumped by a drug addict*

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dumped by a drug addict*

dior84, posted over a year ago

My ex bf began taking cocaine at age 10 as well as drinking and having sex. His parents sent him to a rehab in grade 9 but when he got out he became a dealer and ended up doing time in jail. When he got out he went back to his old ways and ended up leaving a bad breakup of a 3yr relationship/family/friends all behind due to owing people money and the consequences he’d face if he stayed.

He moved back to the city where we went to school 10 years later and begged to take me on a date. I was hesitant because he was so bad as a kid and we weren’t friends but I eventually went and fell in love. Their were so many ups and downs in the relationship taking money from me, selling his possessions ect. I stuck by him no matter how long he went without talking to me or what he did. I would do anything I could to show how much I cared, gifts, taking him out because he had no $ no job, cards, letters you name it I tried it. I took him on a carribean vacation and a week after we got home I was waiting for him to come over and he broke up with me when I called to ask where he was. For almost a month he’d call me on wknds saying he called me by accident b*tch and hang up. When I finally received a nice call he told me he was trying to make me hate him, it was his plan, he had wanted me to tell him to F off, but all I ever said were nice things and he couldn’t understand why I want to talk to him. Things had been good for about 2 months minus the fact he was still hard into cocaine/drinking that of which come before anything else any chance he gets. He always will choose going on benders with his friends over seeing me or any other normal activity. We were talking about what good terms we were on and planning a summer vacation a few days ago when 2 days later I call him and he txts saying “I have a girlfriend” when I called him he was with his friends prob 3 days without sleep on a drug/alch spree, I was so shocked and upset, he just told me not to call him, stay the F away from his family ect. I don’t believe he has a gf because I know him well enough to know we wouldn’t have spoke for the last few months if that was the case. I just don’t understand how addicts can abrubtly change their minds so quick and lash out for NO reason! I am so hurt and not stupid, I am not happy when we are together because all he wants to do is drugs or drink (which I only drink) but when I am apart from him or know he wont speak to me I am so upset, it hurts to see him do this to himself.. what should I do?

He always says things like " i wont be around for long" "everyone knows ill die from drugs or alchohol" "i dont want to stop doing cocaine, its just who i am" "when hes doing the drug he says he doesnt care about ne thing else except continuing to party" he eventually calms down when the high is over but he paces around cant sit still mumbles, looks through windows freaks out its so scary :(

He has a crazy temper and wants to starts fight with friends or anyone, he once threw a 26 across the room full... at the cabin he poured chocolate milk all over his sisters friends because he was mad

i texted him the other day its been 2 wks no contact. i know he had this week off work, i said i miss you. 12 hrs later he writes back, i dont miss you.

that HURT so bad. im guessing he was high or drunk otherwise he doesnt even respond. :(

Posted on 21 July 2009 @ 19:31 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Have you been to Al-Anon yet? That's a good place to start looking for support from people who know what you are going through.

Also, you might want to submit this as a question on the main page: www.dearcupid.org

Find the "ask a question" link and follow the instructions there.

Take care.

Posted on 21 July 2009 @ 19:46 (London time) - permalink
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daisydianedaisydiane, posted over a year ago

If you ever get the courage to LOVE yourself,you wouldn't be infatuated with a drug addict! No he doesn't have a girlfriend,he's got lots of women because when someone is a drug addict they know their fair share of people who abuse drugs also & there will always be women & guys selling sex for drugs!!! Addicts cheat & he's made it clear that you aren't anything to him & the thing about him trying to make you hate him,you should listen to that because he doesn't want to be with you yet you don't get it! Learn to Love & respect yourself before you get banged up again!

Posted on 31 January 2010 @ 6:8 (London time) - permalink
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