 DeliaD, posted
over a year ago
So this case sounds classic, but since it seems people on here are knowledgable about relationships, I kind of need some positive feedback.
My boyfriend (hate saying fiance, such a fancy word) recently told me approximately a week ago that he needed to move out and have some space and know he can be a grown man, without me holding his hand. I freaked... we spent the time he was moving out kissing and talking and he held me the night before he left... weird, I know. But it was cute. And I can definately tell he loves me. Anyone can tell. Its in his eyes when he looks at me.
But the space issue, that thus far I understand, is because:
a) He had a stressful last semester at school, and I think this freaked him out. One thing I have to note here is he grew up in a household that pretty much told him he wasn't going anywhere, and when he started dating me, he went to community college (graduated with honors), and then went to university. I think his insecurities are there.
b) He thinks he's turning into his father (abusive, etc.). I think this is impossible, since he actually notices it. He was lashing out alot the past 2 monthes, but I ignored his bad behavior and rewarded the good (yeah, like Dog Whisperer gone wrong).
c) I've helped him in every situation thus far, and he wants to prove that he can do things on his own.
He told me I was the only one he would marry, no doubt. Whether it be in 2 years or 10, he knew I was the one. I trust him.
BUT I think I made a boo-boo. I left him alone for 2 days, then decided to call him (see, he told me I could still call, and I said give it time. I broke my own rule). I wanted to say goodnight and he didn't answer. I left a voicemail (should've known, he NEVER checks his messages).
Then I did that for like 3 days straight... caught him at his work this past Monday and said he should call Tuesday (his only day off), and he said YES. So I waited and waited on Tuesday... I even called him. Nothing.
SOOO I gave up. I have put him on a no-contact mental list for me. I know how he works... when he doesn't hear from me after a while he freaks.
But, am I too late? What should I even do when he DOES call? His stuff isn't completely moved out. There's a crapload still here. I know he'll eventually find his way back home. But I want to know what to say, do, etc. I hear you can't give them an easy time.. so what do I do?!?! lol
Thanks in advance, and sorry for the long letter!
Oh, as background info, we have dated over 3 years.. he held my hand while I went through chemo, I held his hand while he stopped using drugs and getting kicked out of his house for it (yeah, for stopping the drugs).
Cute story is back last October, we were on seperate ships on seperate oceans for 6 weeks, no CONTACT at all. One day, I had really been in the dumps, felt so lost without him, and decided to hang out at the bowsprit. I had my camera phone with me (only means of video and photos, despite no cell signal), and while I was out there, a HUGE pod of dolphins came and followed the ship. I took a video of them.
When we got home, he showed me his journal that he wrote in everyday, and it was mostly about how he missed me, etc. I thought it was cute! When he moved out last week, I decided to look in the journal so I could read his entries, and one of the entries, October 29, 2007, it says "I went out on the bowsprit today to clear my head.. but all I could think about was my Delia".
Well, I was all giddy and decided to look up on my phone when did I take my video of the dolphins.
Low and behold, October 29, 2007. :o)
Posted on 1 July 2008 @ 0:4 (London time) - permalink
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