A
female
age
30-35,
inluv4eva
writes:I have a question about a weird fetish my husband has developed in the last few months. Lately, instead of us having intercourse, he likes to watch me have intercourse with a vibrator instead while he holds it. Is this normal, and if so why does he get off on this? It has kind of been hurting my feelings that he does'nt want to be with me.
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female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 Men are visual for one. So this has an aspect of sating that.
Another aspect this type of sex has is a bit of a voyeuristic angle.
Getting off on someone pleasuring themselves.
I think it was right of him to come to you and ask of you to fulfill a fantasy, desire, need.
Now you need to express to him your feelings. That you may be okay with doing it as it pleases him but also, you still need to held, kissed, touched, and you still have your needs too.
This can easily become a win/win situation with communication.
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (6 October 2008):
 It's normal for someone to get off on this type of thing, however; it shouldn't replace the actual act of sex. Did he stop having sex with you completely when this started?
This is something that is very exciting for people and it should be enjoyed, but sweetie if he has stopped having sex with you... then of course, as I'm sure you know, something is not right.
I know it has to hurt your feelings and cause you to be upset, rightfully so!!
Talk with him... ask him about it and then make him aware of your feelings. He surely shouldn't be using this to take place of your lovemaking.
Communicate with him and see where that leads you with this.
Good luck sweetie and let us know how things are going for you.
Take care,
Michelle
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia + ♥, writes (6 October 2008):
 It sounds relatively normal, a lot of men get off on that sort of thing. Is he avoiding being intimate with you all together? Does he still kiss you, pleasure you? He may just be so excited about this new routine, that he has forgotten how to be a gentleman and make sure that you're feeling loved and having fun - not feeling neglected, like it seems that you are.
Talk to him about it. Tell him that you love having fun with the vibrator, but that you miss having sex with a real man! Sex can be fun WITH a vibrator as well. Why not combine the two together?
I hope you two find a happy solution! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Redneckbabe63090 +, writes (6 October 2008):
Hey well i'm not be 18 but i am married. My husband also likes to do this. I asked him about it one time and he said he makes him extremely horny. I don't know if it's normal or not. But it can hurt your feelings when he would rather watch you do this. But i would just ask him about it. Like you said it's a fetish so he most really enjoy it. Just ask him why he would rather you have intercourse with a vibrator instead of with him. Hope this helps!
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